Unnaturally Long Attention Span

AvatarA blog about Grad School at Stanford, Working in a Silicon Valley Internet Company, and Statistical Machine Learning. mike AT ai.stanford.edu

An Unnatural Birth Has Occurred

In other primate news, a female chimpanzee at the Chimp Haven Home for Former Research Animals has given birth to a baby girl [Source]. This is surprising due to the fact that all of the chimp males at the facility have had vasectomies. Management at Chimp Haven is now planning to do DNA testing on all of the chimp males in order to identify the cause of the unauthorized birthing.

However, this testing is largely unnecessary as I am already certain as to what the results will be. If I can call to your attention that case documented in the film Jurassic Park, this is obviously a case of where the genetic experimentation that has been conducted on these former lab animals has permanently altered their DNA. Hence, resulting in the activation of the latent reptilian genes, producing a sex-reversal of the female specimens, and ultimately spawning the creation of the super-raptors, er, monkeys.

I, for one, welcome our new mutant-monkey overlords.


5:32 PM, January 18, 2007 Vita said...

you, for one, prehaps watched too many movies. It's probably the case that someone in the lab brought over their pet, and somehow, love found itself.